


Was That My Only Shot At Happiness?

by slyvir



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Angst with a Happy Ending, Klaine divorce, M/M, No Dialogue, almost canon compliant, kadam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:34:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29986413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slyvir/pseuds/slyvir
Summary: The time had come that, for once, Kurt put himself first. And as he had always known, once that day would come, he was going to stand there alone.He didn’t know yet what would become of him, he would simply have to figure things out on his own. Maybe finally taking the chance of living for himself, instead of simply being there in function of others.With nothing decided Kurt had to do what any other adult was supposed to do, take care of his own survival.
Relationships: Adam Crawford/Kurt Hummel, past Kurt Hummel/Blaine Anderson
Kudos: 10





	Was That My Only Shot At Happiness?

He looked at the boy he once thought as a teenage dream. The first love, his best friend and soulmate... And he could not see any of that anymore, their fights and different positions had eroded any of the good that once upon a time was there.

It was a whole lot of crap, excuse his french. He was now heartbroken, but he couldn’t regret standing here alone as his now ex was leaving. The saddest part though was that Blaine hadn’t changed, years together and he remained just a boy, who never actually grew up into a man. Kurt knew, he did, that it was the right thing to do. There were no hard feelings, only loneliness, and the desperate need to not be pitied.

He could totally do without their well meaning pity. He smiled encouragingly, because Blaine needed to see that it was ok to move on and be happy, to chase his dream and not regretting what got destroyed in their pursue.

The time had come that, for once, Kurt put himself first. And as he had always known, once that day would come, he was going to stand there alone.

Being right on this particular instance had the faint taste of disappointment and bitterness.

It was fine, or it would be. He had prepared himself for this. Or at least he tried.

Life was going to keep moving forward, he just needed to survive till he got to better days. And hadn’t that be a mantra being repeated for years?

Back in high school it was holding on the conviction he would be superior to all who were putting him down. This time around he would just be whole and worthy as himself. Being single with a failed marriage that happened too early and for all the wrong reasons didn’t make a failure out of him.

Kurt smiled, in this moment, and for the days that followed. He smiled when their home was stripped empty, because the Andersons had taken no time to remind him how they had paid for anything that was new in their house. Gladly they in their enthusiasm, no one had tried to make the move on Kurt’s piano, their bed, and the drawers Kurt dragged to New York all the way from the storage unit in Lima, those were the last pieces that once upon a time belonged to his mom.

Kurt kept smiling when he got in equal measure condoliances and congratulations for the divorce.

He smiled when he talked with their landlord about having to leave. He accepted the knowing nods and simple acceptance of ‘too many memories’, especially because Kurt was not going to look in the mouth of a gifted horse. If the landlord choose to believe the memories were too much for him, rather than the more than real economical reason that he alone couldn’t afford a whole house on his budget, then Kurt was fine with it. Especially if that notion wiggled him out of paying the fee of breaking their lease, and saved him from losing his part of the deposit...

Every single cent was going to count, and probably he would need to stretch the one dollar bills in his wallet to become fivers. Maybe it was going to bea valid option considering the dorms. At least for the little while he still could have access to them, a storage unit, even a controlled temperature one, was maybe less expensive than simply moving into a smaller placer by himself. A place where he might still have the need of a storage unit because it lacked the space to hold the furniture he had with him.

He didn’t know yet what would become of him, he would simply have to figure things out on his own. Maybe finally taking the chance of living for himself, instead of simply being there in function of others.

With nothing decided Kurt had to do what any other adult was supposed to do, take care of his own survival.

Kurt searched for a new place that he could afford, it was smaller, barely able to hold his piano, the bed and have a decent oven, allowing for all the stress baking to take place in complete privacy. But it was Kurt’s and this time around there was no one to complain about towels, exercises for school, which food was in the fridge or where to buy the grocery.

His band with Elliot and Dani fell through, just like everything else, and Kurt took that as a sign that maybe he should just sing for himself for a while, as he rebuilt himself up from the ashes left from Klaine’s Kurt, who, if he was completely honest with himself, was nothing more than a distorted and hollowed version of Lima’s Kurt.

He was in New York now, not Ohio, it was high time he became a new man. He took the time to go to a therapist, not one suggested by friends who wanted to see him falter, but by the health centre office at Nyada.

And surprisingly it did a world of good. He slowly let himself drift away from the social group composed by the people he used to know in high school. As all those bridge got burned into ashes, like a phoenix Kurt found himself growing stronger. He left behind all that made him the guy who would rush to help anyone else, and cater all their whims just to hold onto very unhealthy relationships and connections. Instead he started to set and held on boundaries, anyone who had no interest in respecting them, clearly did not respect Kurt himself, and he respected himself too much to keep allowing disrespectful people in his life.

No one from Nyada ever tried to pull the kind of shit that people from Lima did, so he didn’t allow history to repeat itself.

He finished his last semester with a meager social life than he had when he started in his freshman’s year. But he did ok, directors and producer didn’t need to be his friends to cast him.

Within a couple of years after graduation, a ceremony in which not even his dad had the time to come to, because it was conflicting to one of the congress sessions, Kurt found himself with small roles in the summer fairs circuits and some off broadway produtions.

He wasn’t exactly happy, but he had a relatively stable employment in his chosen field, and that was enough. He had not yet had his break to become a star, but he was starting to build his reputation as a valuable actor and friendly cast mate, able to help out on the tech side of things as well if it was needed.

It happened on a reinterpretation of Peter Pan, where Kurt saved the day and fixed in a pinch some of the costume malfunctions that had plagued constantly the blocking and dressed rehearsals. He had been a lifesaver, he really didn’t have much to lose, and enough time on his hand between rehearsals and his day job to help fixing the tears happening, and figuring out it was the costumes bags’ zippers the invisible culprits. The tech staff was so grateful that Kurt never thought he could feel this appreciated, and all because he just gave an hand when it was needed.

It was about five years since he last saw Adam, after Kurt had let go of the best relationship he ever had, and scrawled back to a fantasy that didn’t last in the harsh daylight.

Adam was just as handsome and wonderful man as the last time Kurt saw him. They found themselves being casted as antagonist in a new production. It was both wonderful and heartbreaking for Kurt to be so close to Adam and yet so far, understandably the British man was cautious, always polite and friendly but holding himself back from allowing anything to become too personal, and Kurt could not fault him. He would have been too, had their role been reversed.

They kept things cordial but Adam didn’t give Kurt any signhe’d been available to try to resume even a friendship, and he respected that even if his heart was breaking all over again. He probably had thrown away his only chance to have something beautiful with Adam, and it was time he accepted that and moved on, as Adam clearly seemed to have done himself.

After all that was how life went, sometimes people were not in the right place at the same time. 

It wasn’t till the night before the closing performance that Adam, the brave and warm man that he was, came to Kurt and tentatively asked about the lack the lack of husband coming congratulating on Kurt’s success.

At that was the time when Kurt came clean and shrugged, admitting that there was no one to come congratulating him, husband or otherwise. And for once, he didn’tfeel the familiar burning of pity for himself.

He was flying solo, and that was ok.At that news Adam seemed to lighten up and becoming warmer. On their closing night, after the final party to say goodbye to all the cast and crew, Kurt asked if maybe Adam cared to meet gain, for a drink or a coffee and maybe if he was willing to try again at at least being friends.

What started as a coffee date on the very next day, became a supper together, then a walk to have dessert in the middle of the night at a diner that was open 24 hours a day. They sat with a cup of tea and a shared dessert, that few hours later became a breakfast for two.

When the tiredness of the past 48 hours dawned on both of them, but unwilling to part yet, or maybe fearing that this had been only a very delightful dream, Adam asked if Kurt wanted to come over at his place, just for sleep, no expectation or pressure.

When he nodded his agreement, Kurt offered the most sincere and bright smile he had in years. A smile that was last seen on him by Adam himself, when he had been the reason why such smile happened in the first place.

Ten hours later, when they laid in bed together, after having the best sleep either could remember, they would talk some more on what they both wanted.

It would come to no surprise to anyone who knew both men that after that morning they didn’t part.Instead they worked once more to rediscover and relearn who they had become during the time their paths had parted.

Many years later down the road, when both had become important presence on the New York acting scene, during an interview about a local event in which both took part, the public discovered that the private couple had been together since that second first date.

Looking back at their time together Kurt couldn’t stop the tender smile appearing on his lip. Once upon a time, there had been a time, more than one time, when he felt like he had lost his chance at happiness. However waking up in Adam’s arms, day after day, had been a balm to his soul.

And looking back, after they had spent most of their life together, they both could agree that it didn’t matter how much heartache happened before they had found their way to each other.

All they went through, it was well worth to have now the life they were building together day after day.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reaching the end and choosing to bear ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ with me till the end. 
> 
> I appreciate it, I was in a mood writing it, but I wanted an hopeful, happier ending than what was swirling in my head. I do hope I managed to reach my goal.
> 
> Take care


End file.
